Sunday, February 28, 2010

Free Food!

Anyone who knows me knows that cooking is not my favorite thing, at least, if I'm on the stove end. If I'm sitting at the table, I'm all for cooking. In fact, I'm so cooking challenged that when I was a college student, I would put a potato in the oven to cook while I went to class, then take it out and eat it when I got back. An hour later, I might open a can of green beans and eat them right out of the can. Hey, my stomach didn't care if I didn't eat different kinds of food at the same time.
So when I substituted at school Friday and found out that the Teacher Appreciation people brought in lunch for teachers, and were equally appreciative of substitutes, I got on the food wagon. It was all so delicious, from spinach salad to Hawaiian pizza to some kind of fluffy salad with... could it be?... cookie crumbles in it!
And in spite of the fact that I've lost 10 pounds in the last month by counting calories, I also gave myself a frosted brownie. And I counted every single chewy chocolate goodness calorie as it slid down.
It was worth every one

Monday, February 22, 2010

Michael's Happy Shirts

I love hand-me-downs, hand-me-overs, or hand-me-ups. I don't care if clothes are new before I wear them. In fact, I passed some "new" jeans in the store a couple of weeks ago with so much wear on the front of the thighs that I'm sure my underwear would show if I tried to pull on a pair.
But this isn't about me. It's about 10-year-old Michael who was given some shirts from a shirttail-cousin-by-marriage. ;0)
When Michael discovered the bright colored golf shirts with horizontal stripes, he said, "I LOVE these!" For the next couple of days, he wore different bright golf shirts. "You know Mom," he announced, "these shirts make me happy. I can't help it. When I wear them, I'm always in a good mood."
If that's the case, then those shirts aren't going anywhere! They'll be "wear-me-outs!"

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Articles of Faith of Mormon Culture

(I don't know who wrote these, but they're pretty funny if you "get 'em!")

1. We believe in SUVs and minivans, as the form of transportation, and in knee length shorts, which are always nice, and in the multilevel marketing.
2. We believe that church ball players should be punished for their own fouls, and not for unsportsmanlike aggression.
3. We believe that through bread crumbs, cheese, creamy soups, and rice all casseroles can be saved through obedience to ward cookbooks and creativity in the mixing bowl.
4. We believe that the first layers and ingredients of the Dip are: first, beans; second, cheese; third, chopped tomatoes; fourth, the gift of sour cream; fifth, olives; sixth, salsa; seventh, guacamole, that is, if you have it.
5. We believe that a Mormon should have a distinguished or a cute name, that it is appropriate to name a child after a church leader or a historical figure including an ancestor, that alternative spellings and French prefixes only add to a name, and that when referring to the names of General Authorities, middle initials should be a part thereof.
6. We believe in the same wall decor that exists in many Mormon homes, namely, framed family proclamations, vinyl lettering, inspirational word signs, family photos, pictures of temples and Jesus, and so forth.
7. We believe in the gift of the re-gift, church books, crafts, family photos, baked goods, emergency supply kits, and so forth.
8. We believe in sparkling grape juice so long as it is nonalcoholic; we also believe in bringing root beer and sprite to ward parties.
9. We believe in all that we have scrapbooked, all that we will now scrapbook, and we believe that we will yet scrapbook many great and important things pertaining to our family, friends, pets, and vacations.
10. We believe in the literal mixing of ketchup and mayo and in the generous application of ranch dressing; that CBAs (church-based acronyms) will be used to describe YM/YW, PEC, the Y, NCMO, and CTR; that Mitt Romney will get Mormons to vote for him any time he runs; and, that the Mormons will enjoy reading Twilight and The Work and the Glory.
11. We claim the privilege of trying to identify common acquaintances with any visitor at church, and allow all other people at church the same privilege, and let them name drop the names of Famous and general authorities how, where, or what they may.
12. We believe in being subject to scoutmasters, pampered chef hostesses, and the writers of the U.S. News and World Report Rankings for professional schools, and in obeying, honoring, and sustaining Glenn Beck.
13. We believe in being above average, good at crafts, optimistic, and being fifteen minutes late everywhere we go. Indeed, we may say that we follow BYU football. We believe rumors about famous people joining the church, we hope to meet the three Nephites, we have endured many pyramid schemes, and hope to be able to endure all pyramid schemes. If there is anything cheap, free, sold in bulk, or given away when somebody is moving, we seek after these things.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


Ever since my bookcases collapsed, I have not seemed to be able to get on top of the clutter. It seems that most of what's left is, well, books. I just can't throw them away, and I have to go through them to see which ones I can possibly part with for library donations. I mean, without bookshelves, where else can I put them? I have started a stack against the wall, bricklayer style, of titles I want to read and then possibly donate.
Another squirrel in the coconut tree is that Bron wants to paint his room... at least, I thought he wanted to paint his room. Now it appears that he wants ME to HELP him paint his room. I already spent about 4 hours scraping wallpaper off the narrow wall of his room (the only place three layers were plastered, thank goodness.) I thought I'd done my decorator time. But apparently not.
Hey, I know! We can re-do Bron's room with bookcase walls! That will solve everything.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


I went to see my sister last week, and found her 13-year-old triplet daughters playing beauty shop with nail polish. I lined up for the special treatment and got flowers painted on my fingernails and on one foot's worth of toes. (10-year-old Michael painted a variety of pictures on the other set of toes for me!)
I think they started something: while I keep my nails cut short for ease of typing, I actually dug out some small heart stickers this morning and am contemplating fixing them to my fingernails in honor of Valentine's Day!