Not a Black Cat

Black cats are all the rage at Halloween.

We used to have a black cat named Slick, who sat in his heated water dish on the porch in his last few weeks leading to his 18th birthday because he was a cold old cat. Then he suddenly disappeared when he turned 18. 

We looked for his body for days, in every place we could think of, but we never found him.

Spooky!

One of our current cats is not black, as you can see in the picture, but this part-Siamese has her own spooky story.

She's not right in the head.

Our son Brian and his girlfriend (at the time) found tiny Sage Kitten in a gutter before her eyes were even opened. They fed Sage with an eye dropper and saved her life.

But something affected her brain. We think it may have been her too-young separation from her cat mom, but it could be something else. 

Sage lets you pet her, but may suddenly bite or scratch with seemingly no provocation. She'll easily roll on her back and bare her belly, but growls fiercely and unsheathes her claws, aimed at you, if you touch it. She likes to sleep in weird positions. If we don't put her out in a timely manner at night, she'll hide, then early in the dark morning crawl up on Bob's stomach and bat his face with her paws until he wakes up.

Then he puts her out.

In spite of her white fur and innocent blue eyes, she makes a perfect Halloween cat.

Do you like cats?

Do you like Halloween?

Spooky Cup Holder

Look what happens when a sole person drives a vehicle on a highway ALONE!

YES! That's a spiderweb, and YES, it's in a car cupholder!

This driver doesn't store drinks in the cupholder of the passenger door. WHY WOULD HE?

(Would you?)

Spiders would.

Do you regularly wash and dust YOUR car cupholders?

How Many Halloween Costumes Are Enough?

Some people go to a Halloween party...but someone I know goes to Halloween partieS!

(I think her real name is Party Girl.)

She was a witch at one party. (The pointy hat kept falling off, but she kept her witchy purple hair, with one magical streak of blonde.)

Then, at ANOTHER party, she was Cinderella! (Oh, yeah, she's got the princess attitude, bearing, AND sparkly dress. No question that she's royalty!)

And then when we went to the haunted Desert Gardens, she was fearless Malificent! Nothing scared her. (She just scared it right back!)

If that's not enough, she was Pumpkin Girl at home. (It even looks like she has little pumpkins on her head!)

So if you're a party person, you'd do well to hang out with Carolyn.

Do you like to go to parties?

Or would you rather stay home?

Ghost in the Garbage

What a surprise it was to find a little white ghostie staring up at me as I walked past a doorway.

Who's haunting me?

Look how funny! Someone took their makeup off and made a ghost without even trying to! Or could it be the ghost of a lady who used to wear makeup?

Hmmm. 

Do you believe in ghosts?

Killer Jack O Lantern!

When Carolyn and I went to the mall, we found a giant Jack O Lantern with SHARP TEETH and a BIG MOUTH! Carolyn barely escaped with her life!

 Then I fended off the sharp teeth bearing down on me, since I was not willing to become Shirley Pie with whipped cream on top without putting up a fight!

Brave Carolyn even managed to say "Boo" to the ghost, instead of having the ghost scare her with a spooky "Boooo!"

What's your scare factor? Do you get scared, or are you the one doing the scaring?

Look What I Saw in A Car!

Found Some Pirates at Walmart

No, Halloween isn't over yet! I found these pirates at WalMart!

But wait a minute...what if they aren't dressed for Halloween? Could they be from a Pilgrim ship? (Or chasing a Pilgrim ship? Maybe they're hungry for a shriveled apple!)
Or maybe they always dress this way. It could be their regular modus operandi!
It was fun to run into them, and I'm thankful they let me take a photo without brandishing a cutlass.
What are you thankful for? 

Ghostly Handprints

When I walked out to my car, I found some ghostly handprints on my car door. Strangely enough, if someone had stood at my car and pressed their hands against it, the fingers would most likely point upward, but you can see (if you look closely with your supernatural vision) that the handprints are pointing downward.

I hope my car's not haunted by a carwash attendant. Have you ever felt haunted? (Happy Halloween!)

Decorate Once and be Done!

Here's an idea... save time by just putting out decorations for all the holidays at once! 

These homeowners have it covered with a Santa "Welcome" sign, a patriotic wall hanging by the door, two pumpkins hanging from their porch just waiting to be baked into a Thanksgiving pumpkin pie, and a Halloween ghost crouched by the steps. When they answer the door, perhaps paper Valentine's hearts fall on your head while you're presented with a birthday cupcake and a candle to blow out!

(Make a wish!)

What's your favorite holiday?

What Color is His Bathroom? By the Way, What's Your Favorite Holiday?

I walked my son to school last week and happened upon a teacher struggling with two hands full of heavy plastic grocery bags. Knowing how those thin, tough handles love to cut into flesh, I offered to carry some for her so she could unlock her door. We ended up talking the WHOLE FIRST PERIOD of school about holidays, their meanings, and the way people perceive them. (Yep, I can talk to anyone.) I once got involved in a conversation with a stranger in the visitor's center at Flaming Gorge. When I finally got in the car with the impatiently waiting males of my family, my husband glibly asked, "What color was his bathroom?"
"Yellow," I replied.
It was true. We'd meandered into discussing his current remodeling job. (Come on, who couldn't open up to a face like this? Yes, it is mine, and after watching some old episodes of the medical drama "House," I'm grateful I have a face. Any face.)
Anyway, back to the teacher talk, the one who opened my eyes to the wondrous simplicity of Thanksgiving, where the focus is not on gifts nor baskets nor sugary sweets, but on giving thanks for simple abundance and on gathering together in groups to reflect on our blessings and enjoy our kinship and friendship. She pointed out how it appears to be squeezing out of popularity by the BIG COMMERCIAL holidays near it. She helped me realize the appeal of Thanksgiving to the point that it has now become MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY. (Next to Halloween and the ballerina costume my Grandmother made for me when I was about THAT age!)
Im also thankful to have launched my new pen name blog! Do you wanna see? Really? If you follow it, then you get to read TWO blogs from this infathomable mind of mine. (Which goes along with the gratitude-for-my-face sentiment. I'm glad I have any mind at all.) Can you take it? CAN YOU?
Be one of the first to click to visit SkyleeFair.blogspot.com!

My Haunted Car

THANKS to my 12 year old who made sure my car was dressed up for Halloween.

Paint it Pretty!

I had so many great comments on my BLOG HOP prize that I wish I had twenty-four necklaces to give away! The winner was chosen at "random dot org" this morning by my 12-year-old before he hopped off to school, leaving me without the list of candidates or a clear indication of the winner! (What a master of suspense.) The winner will be contacted by midnight tonight (which also gives me plenty of time to find the GREAT hiding place where I safely put the mysterious disappearing prize...it must be haunted, because it's certainly not me!)
For those who don't get the ghostly necklace, you can always do as my son did for my beautiful new granddaughter...paint it on! Just think of it... with a little glitter you could wear a sparkly tiara whenever you wanted. (Or you could paint on "man jewelry," Chas!) With green and white paint you could dot on a necklace and matching earrings, and with glow-in-the-dark paint you could do an entire Safety Sam Halloween costume!
What was your favorite Halloween costume ever? What are you going to dress up as this year?

A Donut Date

by Shirley Bahlmann
It happened at a college ward Halloween party. I wasn't there because I'm in college, although I once was, but because my husband works as ward clerk. I was supposed to be a good influence, you know, the stable older wife of the slightly nerdy clerk, yadda, yadda. (Except that hubby is a mountain man who knows Broadway musicals and recognizes opera. He's a macho nerd.)
Anyway, someone had the great idea of tying donuts to a broom handle and dangling them in front of hungry college students. I'm telling you, it was hard to hold them back. Once the students sunk their teeth into the confections and snarfed them down, they thought it would be fun to have the older, more sedate party-goers bite into donuts without using their hands.
(Ah... but they said nothing about faces.) I wasn't going to play because I'm on a low-cholesterol diet, but I was peer-pressured into standing in line beside my husband, the dangerous donut mocking me with its sugary sweetness.
"On your mark, get set, go!"
I lunged into the donut, then swung it around with my face and pushed it into my surprised husband's cheek, and took a big bite. (Of the donut, not his cheek.) It worked so well, I did it again. Then a third of the donut fell on the floor, and I did a victory dance in my long red-riding hood cape.
But my dance was short-lived. Bob was struggling with his confection. I hate to see a man suffer, especially one I'm married to, so I placed myself in mortal danger and stood behind his donut, with the pastry right at lip level. He went for it. We kissed. (Well, if you can call mashing your lips together against a big fat puff of sweet dough kissing.) The kids laughed. We did it again. By the time Bob had the donut down, I was glazed from forehead to chin. Half an hour later, I was still peeling frosting off my face in hidden places.
I'm thinking that Bob and I weren't cheating, no, we were setting a good example of how to stay in love 30 years later.
Did you ever notice that thirds of donuts lying on the floor look like little mouths smiling up at you? They do.

The Haunted Dog

By Shirley Bahlmann
Bibs was just four days old, a little black weiner with a small white dot between her shoulder blades, like she'd been touched by a ghost. (Just look at her spooky eyes!) I didn't really want a Border Collie, I was more interested in a cute little whisker dog like my cousins, Guy and Janette Rallison, have. But Bob and the boys would have none of that. We weren't sure Bibs was our puppy until we did "doggy tests" at five weeks old. All three boys chose her from the litter, and that was good enough for me.
When Bibs came to our house, she was too scared to sleep alone, so the boys hunkered down in their sleeping bags in her dog run. When the weather turned cold enough, they came inside and she stayed out.
When she first met our cats, they were all about the same size, but they wouldn't play nice. Sometimes our white-as-a-ghost cat, Dusty, would trot away to find a sunny spot and Bibs would happily give chase. Our black cat, Slick, never turned tail to Bibs. Even though Bibs grew to ten times his size, Dusty's the one who makes Bibs run.
The ghost touch has done other damage to Bibs' bravado. She's afraid to go in our living room, is afraid of the bathtub, blinking lights, and being behind closed doors. But worst of all, she's afraid of her dog feeder.
It's a terrific feeder that holds a whole bag of dog food with a lid to keep it clean and dry. We knew she wasn't fond of pushing open the little hinged door with her nose to get at her food, so we propped it open with a rock and thought we would live happily ever after.
Wrong.
Last month, Bibs was in our house when Bob asked, "Does she have any food?"
"I saw some in her feeding tray," I said. "Why?"
"She acts likes she's starving," he said.
It was true. She was doing more than vacuuming the kitchen floor, she was trying to root in the garbage can and stand up to the counter when she thought we weren't looking and attempting to open cupboards with her nose. So when I took her back outside, I inspected the feeder more closely. I found spider webs woven across the feeding tray. Was she scared of spiders, or had they set up shop there because she never her nose in to eat her food? When I opened the lid, it was chock full of dog food, clear to the top.
"Bibs!" I said. "I can't believe you're scared of your feeder!" She lowered her head between her white-spotted shoulders and wagged her tail in apology.
I took pity on the ghost-touched dog and scooped some food out for her.
I think we're going to dress her up as a werewolf for Halloween.

Penguin Turkey Tails

My youngest son, Michael, loves to decorate for the holidays. Halloween was all cobwebs in the trees and fright masks on our porch bear. Once Halloween was over, we went looking for thanksgiving decorations. Know what? They are sorely lacking, at least in our neck of the woods.
But that didn't stop us, no, sir. In our search we found some little penguin yard stakes, the kind that light up. We bought them, took them home, and set them up in our front yard. Michael got busy and taped long colored feathers to their black and white behinds. Ta-da! Their turkey disguise is complete. Once Thanksgiving is over, we'll pluck their tail feathers and voila! We'll be all ready for Christmas.
Gobble, gobble, Ho-Ho-Ho!

Big Red Riding Hood

I admit it, even though some people (those with little imagination, I'm sure) look at me funny. I just love Halloween. I can't help it. I love dressing up, I love decorating with pumpkins and funny faced ghosts and old used crime scene tape (from our police officer son.) I laughed when two of our sons laid on the grass and outlined one another with white spray paint. Now don't give me the blood, gore, or slashers. That's not Halloween, that's horror.
Last year, I dressed as a baked potato. This year, I pulled out a long, red cloak that my cousin, Judi, made for me a few years ago. When I first saw the hem dragging on the ground, I told her she should shorten it.
"Oh, no," she said. "Long and sweeping is much cooler."
She was right. I once wore it to Hogle Zoo, and a guy from a group of bikers against child abuse sang that Little Red Riding Hood song, complete with wolf howl, as I walked down the sidewalk. When I walk free of anyone within ten yards of me, I'm safe. If I try to join a group moving down a hallway, inevitably, someone steps on the flowing him of my cape and threatens to garrote me. Very fitting for Halloween, I'm sure, but not my style.
I carried a basket covered with a cloth. Many people guessed I was Little Red Riding Hood. Close. I was Big Red Riding Hood, off to visit my grandchildren. I handed out several goodies as I went to work at the Alternative High School, and later at the elementary school Halloween parade.
I just love Halloween. Maybe it's the candy.

The Mystery of the missing Halloween globe

We have a Halloween globe in our front yard with flying styrofoam bats and light up ghosts inside. Since it's October, we have it out on the lawn with stern faced jack-o-lanterns. One morning we all left for the day, and when we came home, the Halloween globe was missing. I questioned everyone in the family, but no one admitted to knowing anything about where it was.
I was incensed! Who would steal a Halloween globe right off our lawn in broad daylight? Heart pumping with indignation, I got a long piece of paper that fit across the front of our house and wrote in big black letters: "God saw you take our Halloween globe. Is it worth your immortal soul? BRING IT BACK." When my husband, Bob, saw the sign, he took it down because he thought it was a bit extreme. Our teenage son, Zack, said that anyone who would steal a Halloween globe would just laugh at my sign.
A few days later, our youngest son, Michael, asked me to open the gate to our small side yard so he could get his bicycle. When I did, I stopped and stared in disbelief. There, mashed against our fence, was the Halloween globe. How did it get there? Someone said it must have blown over the fence, but the fence is made of solid wood boards, and it's taller than me! Weird. So I patched the tear in the plastic bubble and set it up in our front yard again. Whenever I come home, the ghosts flutter above the flickering flame inside, circled by swirling bats, stubbornly silent about the mysterious details of the dis-apparition of the Halloween globe.