Planting People

'Tis the season to plant gardens!

Bob and Carolyn are the gardeners in this household. Bob built raised planter beds last fall, which makes it so much easier to reach the dirt and put in the seeds and weed the plants and pick the produce.

They'll grow them...I'll eat them!

Do you like to eat vegetables?

Do you like gardening?

 

Why Bob Cooks

Bob is the main cook in our house, but I was willing to help with dinner. 

He asked me to boil potatoes, then squish them.

(Yes, he says, "squish." No mashing potatoes in this house!)

When I got done, the squished spuds looked nearly normal. A bit shiny, but, hey, they were real, live potatoes!

 But when they were put on a plate, they seemed a bit...sticky.

Where did that come from? They just had the traditional addition of milk/butter before I whipped them.

Uh-oh...whip? That wasn't in the instructions.

 Well, with a solid scoop of spuds, it might make sense that they'd hold together somewhat. Wouldn't it?

But when they're THIS stretchy....ahhh! It's more like eating glued potatoes!

So here's my advice...do not use an emulsion blender to squish potatoes.

Get Bob to do it!

Do you like potatoes?

What's your favorite way to eat them?

Mystery of the Missing Food Containers

Has it ever happened to you? Have you had a lot of food storage containers that didn't match? Random lids that fit no boxes? Round storage and square storage and perhaps even a triangle or two that refused to stack nicely?

Me too.

So, to maximize our storage space, we bought a couple of SETS of containers. (No round ones. That was the rule.) Yet after we got them home and put them in the cupboard, there didn't seem to be as many as we originally had.

I just thought I'd miscounted, until I went into Carolyn's room to get something for her. She'd rearranged things and organized her belongings so nicely, as she often likes to do, and I found our missing containers!

Every good household has to organize their candy.

(You do, don't you?)

Food with a Face

While walking past the meat counter in the grocery store, I discovered "food STILL with a face" looking out at me.

I am not a vegetarian, but this just might turn me into one.

So I wonder, is it just me? Do you find this appealing? (Look at those eyes!) Would you want to take a pound of porky, swaddled in meat wrapping paper, home with you?

(Maybe they'd throw the hat in free, you know, for fiber.)

Placemats of Prediction?

When we went to the Black Bear Diner in St. George, everyone got a paper placemat with pictures of tasty looking food, such as pineapple upside down pancakes (they look sideways to me),

Bear-b-que chicken,

and bacon cheeseburger salad. 

(Not pictured was my little sister's order of cinnamon roll French toast, which made her smile after she ate the whooole thing!)

But my place mat had nothing, nothing food-wise, that is. Just a snow covered mountain with a cascading waterfall.

Was the universe trying to tell me something? 

Was I only supposed to have water?

But then I figured it out. Fish swim in water, so I got fish. (Yummy crispy outside, tender white inside, and delishioso tartar sauce.)

I didn't get a picture of the fish fillets, but the next day the universe made the traffic light turn green which was the signal to go back to the diner and get their tuna salad.

(Pictured above... more fish, see?)

So, are you a fish eater?

What would you order at the Black Bear Diner?

Burnt Food Can Be Beautiful

When I burned food in the oven this time, (it's happened before) It was fun to see what happened to the light rays in my kitchen. The smoke in the air made them look like magic happening before my very eyes!

So look for the good, pretty, fun, interesting, educational, fortifying, character-building, or fascinating aspects of events that happen in your life. You might be struggling now, wondering why you burn the food so often, but when you look back, you could be surprised to discover that burnt food is easier to digest, so you get to live a longer, healthier life than those people who aren't patient enough to let their food burn before eating it.

Funny Food

Have you ever heard of a mountain of potatoes? (What's up with the sky-high potato pile? Wasn't there a bigger bowl in the back of the cupboard somewhere?)

How about an Easter Egg hunt? (The problem is, it wasn't Easter, and I was in no mood for hunting. I'd thought the chickens were duds, roosters in drag, until we found a stash of eggs in their secret hiding place. Of course the lovely nest boxes with straw weren't good enough.) Unsure of how old each egg was, we ended up feeding them to the dog. She approved of every single one.

Then there's the popcorn game. It's where you pick up a single kernel of popcorn and decide what it looks like before eating. Very entertaining, and low calorie, too, since it takes so long to eat a bowl of popcorn this way!

And we can't forget the happy hotcakes! (Except that the bear seems to be feeling more neutral. While gazing at this picture, I must ask myself, is it truly appetizing to chew on what appear to be bear's lips?)

Some of these foods may tempt you, some may turn off your appetite. The simple truth is that people like to eat different things, and people like to read different things. That's why we have different authors and styles of writing, so that the whole world can be happy.

What do you like to write? What do you like to read?

Eating Eyeballs but Not Toes

My son grabbed a piece of leftover Halloween candy and declared, "I like the eyeballs, but the toes are too thick and chewy, just like real toes." (How does he know? Has he chewed on any toes lately?) I thought it was hilarious that he was choosy about which body parts he ate, so I braved the senses and ate a toe. It was chewy, and thick, and had a hard part where the toenail was supposed to be. But it was sugary, so I chomped away. What's the saying? "More for me."

Who's to say what's good to eat? It all depends on what you grew up with and what your tastes are. It was fun when my son shared some candy his friend brought back from Japan. There were pieces that tasted like cough drops that one son really liked, and ones that were spicy that another boy liked, and the jello candy and the cookie bear candy. They were good, but better if you didn't look at the sweet koala bear faces before chomping down.

It makes me think of koala revenge in the dark, scary night when you hear noises and aren't sure what they are. What could they be? Koalas marching in your nightmares, wanting to eat your eyes and toes! Ahhhh!
What do YOU like to eat?

Can You Beet That?

I admit, it was an impulse buy. I was actually at the store for marinara sauce to get my youngest son to eat my homemade cheese sticks. (They're cheaper than the take-out Italian food he begs me for, but he thinks they're not as good. Hah!) That's when I saw bright beets beaming at me from the label on a can. I reached up and grabbed some.
The teenage checker at the till rolled a beet can over the scanner, paused, glanced at the label and asked, "What do you do with beets?"
Was this a trick question? Cautiously I answered, "Eat them."
The girl's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"
What planet was this girl from? "You've never had a beet?" I asked, waiting to see if she darted out a forked tongue.
"No," she answered. Then her face grew thoughtful. "I think my mom tried to make me eat one once, but I wouldn't because I thought it would stain my teeth red."
Well, alrighty then. All the more for me.
Is there a food that you get sudden cravings for?

Cow Pie Pancakes

As I was sitting at the table eating raw vegetables, my stomach complained that those green and leafy things surely weren't the only thing I was going to give it, were they? My stomach added that there was some pancake mix in the kitchen, and pancakes were so gooood. Then my stomach teamed up with my mouth and I heard myself ask my 14-year-old son, "Will you please cook me some pancakes?"
"Sure," he said, and walked into the kitchen. That's when I should have been suspicious. He protesteth not enough.
He came back in the dining room stirring a bowl of pancake mix with a fork. Then, looking in the bowl, he said, "Ew, what is that? Oh, well, I just stirred it in. I'm sure it's fine." Then he went back in the kitchen and I soon smelled the delicious aroma of browning pancakes. A minute later, he brought me a plate with his hand cupped around the edge. "Now, don't panic," he said. "This is supposed to be Mickey Mouse, but his brains squished out when I turned him over." Well, I could eat a mutated Mickey Mouse, and I did, and my stomach cheered.
Then my son brought me a glass of milk, only it was strange because there was a blob of bright red color spreading through the white. "Sorry, but this is the only milk we had," he explained. "George the Farmer was milking the cow when the cow stepped on his hand. George's finger popped off and flew into the milk bucket. Now his finger is in your glass, so when you drink it, leave a little on the bottom to preserve the finger so we can take it to the hospital when you're through and sew it back onto poor George."
After hearing that story, I couldn't make myself drink the milk, even though somewhere in my heart I hoped it was just red food coloring.
Then Brian brought out another plate with his hand cupped around the edge. "I made a culinary masterpiece," he announced solemnly. "I hope you enjoy it." Then he set the plate down with a flourish and announced, "Cow pie pancakes." Four pancakes of varying diameters stared up at me from the plate. They were stacked with the largest on the bottom and the smallest on the top, and by gum, it did look like a cow patty that some bovine had casually dropped in the corral. But I ate it anyway. After all, I couldn't let a masterpiece go to waste.