I've heard of sad looking Christmas trees, but goodness gracious, this one takes the fruitcake! Not only does it make me feel sorry just looking at it, but if you tried to hang any ornaments on its branches, they'd just slide off onto the floor. And where do you put the star on top? (Or is your family tradition a tree-topped angel? At my church Christmas party, they listed the white-clad girls as "angles." Some of them were rather gawky, but I didn't think they should have pointed out that fact so blatantly.)
There must be a way that this evergreen could be part of the Christmas festivities. In the olden days, people threaded popcorn onto strings to drape around a tree. In this tree's case, you could forgo the needle and thread and simply stick popcorn kernels on the tree needles. Ditto with the cranberries. Now we've got red and white decorations. Perhaps you could convince a real angel to flutter above the tree top. Or else you could light it the old-fashioned way, with candles that sported an open flame. There is a possibility that the tree could catch fire that way. If it does, then voila! You have a nice cheery Christmas bonfire, and the weeping evergreen tree has served its Christmas purpose of giving warmth and joy to the household.
What does your tree look like this year?