Leprosy Legs

by Shirley Bahlmann
As the weather warms, more of my marshmallow white skin shows. I'm not a fan of tanning, not only do I think it's bad for my skin, but it's boring. So when I want to wear a kicky pair of capris, I shave my legs and rub in the "fake bake"(self tanning lotion). I've done two applications this week, one for Sunday, and another one today. When I was standing outside this evening, my 14-year-old looked down at my legs and said, "Mom! What did you do?"
"What?" I looked down, too, wondering if I had some horrendous wound that was spouting blood all over our nice new green grass.
"You look like you have leprosy," my son said. "Your feet are all... splotchy."
Well, he was right. The Sunday fake bake was wearing off underneath the fresh application, and I'm never very particular about my feet. That's what shoes are for, right?
I'm sticking with the tanning lotion. I'll just have to walk faster so the blotches blur together.