Monday, February 21, 2011

How to de-stress your life

I recently read an article about how to de-stress your life. It held such pearls of wisdom as singing into a spatula while cooking, dancing around while folding laundry, and sliding across a polished floor. The article even stipulated that you should wear socks while sliding.
How silly. The whole thing was pointless. It was all about every day life. Doesn't everyone know you need to wear socks while sliding across a floor? Either that or shoes so worn out they have no tread to speak of. (Shoes worked for me in a Las Vegas casino two years ago.) And what's with singing into a spatula? My fake microphone of choice is a black plastic spoon. Duh. It looks WAY more like a microphone.
Dancing only while folding laundry is just plain ridiculous. You should dance while folding laundry, doing dishes, trying to open a stubborn jar of peaches, walking the dog, going upstairs (and down), when hearing a store's peppy piped-in music, and while trying to get your kids' attention away from the TV. Any time is good dancing time.
Everything mentioned in the article was such ordinary, every day stuff that they really need look into getting a real creative writer on staff.
But I have to admit that a tortoise wearing socks is a new one. It's positively inspiring! Let's see, I'll need a couple of pairs for the dog, twelve pairs for our three cats, oh, and we can't forget our two bunnies...

2 comments:

Randi said...

Ha ha! I totally laughed when I read your first paragraph because I said to myself, "I think those are things that Shirley probably already does." I was satisfied to read on to see that I was right! I think you could write your own article, because you can even make taking out the garbage seem like an act of joy. :)

Shirley Bahlmann said...

Thanks, Randi, I think I should take maters into my own hand. If it matters to me, I do something about it, right? Like taking care of the extra ice cream in the bucket so no one else gets an ice cream headache... oh, yeah, I'm feeling the love!

Fruit in Disguise

Why would you make a strawberry taste like a pineapple? Just get a pineapple.